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Treed hikers.

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  • #16
    More what happened, I think, is the phenomenon Mark Twight wrote about in 'Glitter and Despair':

    A total loss of motivation after a particularly crushing defeat, even if he saw a lot more sh*t than I did in his failure, that's what my path looked like. September 6, 2014 is a day I'm not forgetting any time soon. It'll probably always cloud any thoughts I have of the High Peaks.

    Every winter/spring since at least 2007, I'd count the days until I could get to the mountains, watch the snow maps until they were all zeroes, plan routes and scramble for hiking partners for a second or third trip, devise hare-brained ways to get to the peaks any way I could.

    I went through those motions again in 2015, bought a ticket for my friend I hiked 1-45 with to fly in from California for the finish (Esther, since we screwed up in 2007 and didn't realize the ski mountain wasn't it, and @#$%ing Allen), but even then my mind wasn't in it at all.

    Now, in 2016, I still talk about going, but I really doubt I ever will again. Not just the logistical or transportation difficulties or thinking i've gone out of shape or whatever else, but a feeling that I've lost whatever skill and courage the first 45 peaks brought me, that I'm no longer worthy of such lofty heights - that my luck ran out on that first last ditch shot at 46, and anything after that is just poking at the beast, and one of these times it'll wake up for real.
    ADK 46*/46 CATS 5/35 FT 4/28 Saranac 0/6 Bristol 6/6